People live in different forms of relationships: our first one is that to our mother. It starts at conception and early impressions begin in the womb.
Birth terminates the physical connection with the mother. But the connection persists as a psychological (emotional) bond and develops further depending on the circumstances: Is the mother emotionally available? Has she got time for us? Does she love us without abusing us emotionally?
After birth there accrue new important relationships to the father, siblings, grandparents. With increasing age our connections multiply through relationships to friends, partners, colleagues, customers or clients.
We can distinguish between two different basic forms of relationships: constructive- symbiotic or destructive-symbiotic ones. The former increase mental and physical health the latter make us ill.
In destructive-symbiotic relationships perpetrator and victim dynamics leading to abuse of power and false authorities on one side and dependence, over-adaptation and self denial on the other side. If we grow up in a destructive relationship environment, in which mainly traumatised people survive more than live, we hardly can learn what healthy relationships are.
The traumas transmitted from previous generations, and our own experiences in relationships, lead us again and again in symbiotic entanglements with other people or into new forms of false autonomy.
In healthy and constructive relationships this sort of dynamic does not exist. There are neither perpetrators nor victims. Healthy relationships are characterised by a mutual giving and receiving without merging into or taking over each other. Such relationships result in win-win situations.
The second conference of the Association for Promotion of Healthy Human Autonomy (VFGAM e.V.) deals with the causes for destructive symbiotic relationships and the development of patterns for healthy relationships and how they can be brought to light with the help of the “Constellation of the Intention” based on the theory of Multigenerational Psychotraumatology.